What I Truly Feel

For a few days now, I’ve been itching to create something.

Content.

I want to create content.

But I have also been feeling a little iffy about my work/s.

There’s always that fear that I might not deliver, that I did not deliver; or that it might not be given attention. This is hard because I (used to) think that I don’t need an audience. But I do. I really do.

I was going through the pictures I shot when we went to Rainbow Dreams Café and the Under The Sea Café last week. And although the colors were nice because of the restaurants’ aesthetics, I still feel like I underperformed. Like I could have taken better photos but I was too preoccupied with meeting this set of blogger friends for the first time. Or I hate that my videos were all too freaking shaky and lack substance so I can’t even create a no-speaking vlog. (How do you even call those vlogs?)

I always, always feel this way.

How do I even keep up?

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Sunday Currently: Grateful

I’ve been wanting to post a Sunday Currently and here I am! Hahaha!

READING

13 Reasons Why. I already watched the series but I just want to read the book. This is so not me because I prefer reading before watching. The show just have such an impact on me, I need to read it too.

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24 on 27: Of Endings, Beginnings

Yesterday, I kept thinking about tweeting, “this is the first time in years that I’m excited about my upcoming birthday and not wallowing in misery like in the past.” It kept popping up in my head all throughout the day but I never really got the chance to post anything. It was also partly because I didn’t want to be happy and joyful while people on the internet are all sad about the chaotic issues that have been happening.

Just now, I was reading Richel’s Rambles About a TV Series: Thirteen Reasons Why and I suddenly got sad. It is the same sadness I felt when I was watching the Netflix adaptation of Jay Asher’s book. I think I was triggered because most of what she said is the exact same way I feel towards the show.

I scrolled down and saw Bae’s comment about Alex fixing his stuff, just like what Hannah did, before he supposedly committed suicide. People are pointing out that Alex indeed tried ending his life because that act was a sign. (We’ll have to wait for season two to find out.) If you watched the documentary 13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons, there was one instance where they explained that it is a manifestation of suicidal thoughts, that people who commit suicide often clean up their things, arrange what needs to be arranged, before their self destruction.

I never recalled experiencing this while watching but it hit me while going through the comments. It flashed back just like in movies.

I almost committed suicide.

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June 2017 Faves

I can’t keep up with this Monthly Faves, I’m sorry!

But I’m making bawi by posting this month’s and plotting different blog posts that I’m almost done writing on my June calendar. Lol who am I kidding? I have so may unfinished drafts waiting to be published. (Oh God, typical me, trying to climb up and then pulling my own weight down. LABO.)

But really, I will because it is my birthday month!! Hurrahh!!

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Feast on Feast on Feast

Fiesta is one of my favorite things in the province.

For one, you are served with not just one, not just two, not just three, (okay, I actually lost count) but many dishes that you can imagine. It even doubles because whenever you visit a relative’s house, they surely will make you eat. I have three aunts who celebrated that day’s festivity, by the way.

Secondly, being the Culinary Capital of the country, Kapampangans cook the best tasting dishes ever. Partially bias, I know, but I’ve never really had bad-tasting food by someone who hails from Pampanga.

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