Woohoo! We made it through October. Can you believe though that it means 10 months had gone by? How is time that fast? I didn’t even realize until I heard Christmas songs and people suddenly posting holiday related ones.
I just want to say how tired I am: emotionally, physically, mentally.
I’m tired of having to defend myself to people, and eventually defending myself to my own self. Because when people say something about you, despite being assured, you sometimes question yourself.
I’m tired of being fat; but I’m also tired of having to work out each day and wake up with a sore body, or arms, or legs.
Sunday last week, my extended family (aka relatives) and I went to Manaoag and Baguio.
I really don’t have anything to write about it except that we were there in less than 24 hours but we still enjoyed the day! I showed this vlog to the Titas of Manila and they laughed their heads off whenever they see a video of themselves. Hahaha! Love my titas!! <3
Dear past self,
I know, I understand. It’s totally fine. You will be fine.
You have been scared of your future. Hello, you’re just 15 years old?! You’re unsure if Information Technology is the right path to take. You don’t know if you want to enrol in this course just to get into UST. Not getting admitted to Communication Arts is not the end of your “artistry.” You will eventually realize what you are meant to do. You will meet many great people in your first few years, but they won’t be there forever. Enjoy every joke your current fave gay friend shares. Indulge in all your new moments with new friendships you’ve built. You know that scary, dark field at night? In there, new foundations of relationships shall begin construction. But you won’t be with them forever. You’ll be alone at times after stopping for one semester but you will still see them. Smile at them for me, for I never got the chance to say hi when I bumped into them a couple of times. You will be shy, just like when you were in grade school.
I know, I understand.
In one of my entries for June, I decided to write about welcoming this birth month of mine.
But every time it is nearing, I get really sad.
I think this started when I didn’t get to celebrate my 18th.